Packing the unpacked

Rainy day.

Time to pack again! This time gonna venture into a secluded village for a 3-day community work. Tired... Nooooo. Don't get me wrong. I am always supportive of community or voluntary works. I am just tired of packing, that's all. The bags which were left unattended in the living room had not been unpacked yet. So cannot imagine how to start packing again.

Two weeks of laundry is not done yet. House is not cleaned, dust is getting everywhere. What am I gonna wear to work next Monday? Ah... Nevermind. Things will get done anyhow. Got called yesterday. Have to attend a talk tomorrow noon in another town, but hey it's Friday and I shall leave for the village in the evening. Clients are coming in the morning. Ah...everything in a day. Nevermind. Things will get done anyhow.

I have no idea why am I saying this here but at least it shows how packed my schedule can be and not as free as others may think. Spoke to Lizas today. Called her into the office and slowly probed her. Unlike what I've thought, she never even laid a tear while relating her problems. Even, she was laughing and it was like a chat with a friend. She's really funny. She reported the abuse case to the police but later ended up being harassed and accused that she was the trouble maker and seducer. *shaking heads*

Okla...gotta move the ass abit. Until then, enjoy the weekend!

Don't cry out loud

Rainy Day

5pm sharp when everyone was getting ready to go home, the sky suddenly rained. Not just rainy rain but it was heavy rain. The heart started pounding as the water level slowly and steadily rose. Please...not another flood, whispered the lil heart. Now that it had settled, the night is becoming calm and chilling.

Lizas will be transfered soon to another city. She is one of the most capable and fun staff we've got here. I will remember her as being a jovial person, always laughing at any lame jokes that I could offer. Even by pronouncing her name, she would laugh and never got offended by that. Who else can actually laugh at themselves or rather their shortcomings. She's really pretty. Her generous smile always catches my attention and transmits the vibe of happiness.

But the truth slowly reveals. She's actually a victim of domestic violence. I know her husband, a handsome, fair and tall chap. Never once in my mind had thought him to be an aggressor. Cerel beat Lizas out of jealousy. Even when she was pregnant 6 months, she was being kicked and treatened that her life would be at stake if she did not behave. But she's just a vulnerable and weak lady. When she showed up at work, she never showed a trace of her problems. That one thing I really admired, but at the same time heart broken to have imagined such a pretty face with tears and pain. Life afterall is not a bed of roses.

Things are abit the same with Mona, a 19-year-old short and plump lady. She was so funny with her innocent behaviour. Err...maybe that's not the right word to describe her. She was married at 13 when she was caught walking in a dark lane with a 32-year-old male friend and another 13-year-old female friend. People started accusing her of commiting sexual acts (caught wet) with her male companion, which of course she denied.

Then, she was forced to get married and later bore a child at 15 yrs old. The husband was a drunkard, beating her up everytime he was drunk. Out of desperation, she left with a divorce. Now, she's pregnant, claiming the dad was a foreign labour. She never knew what's a condom! And she was telling her story as if she was having speech diarrhoea. It was so funny and interesting to have seen how innocent she looked when she related her story. Afterall, she's 19, what do you expect?

oh, yea...went to the new supermarket today. Interesting. We have seafood! It's clean and price is kinda reasonable. I like the fruits most, so fresh! Oh yes, the musics, so cool... So impressed. Looking forward to shop abit tomorrow. Now, eveyone can buy (that's the catchy motto) Letter just came today. Going for a camp this weekend. Next month will be away for an expensive course. Gosh...RM450 perpax! but of course, being sponsored la....



Answer for the fruit in the previous pic: Makatam (?wild rambutan)

Still so hot

Sunny day.

Funny, the sun was up and bright this morning. Never showed any reduction of its intensity. It was hot hot hot all the way! Laundry not done. Bags still not unpacked yet. Not only bitten by marine bugs but the lazy bugs are biting into the system as well. Body is still itching. Don't bother even to move abit from the seat.

I have a second thought on the twin thingy. A friend kinda said correctly. Wouldn't it sound scary if someone knew what you were thinking all the time. Hmmm.... can I just choose someone who understand me but not reading the mind (blink blink).

There is a new mart in town, called Gmart. Hooray...another mart's coming up. When there's competition things will get better I guess. It's not too far away and today is the opening day. It says: NOW EVERYONE CAN BUY. Sounds familiar isnt it..ehem...but I prefer NOW EVERYONE CAN SHOP. sounds better aye?

Gonna be away again this weekend. Whatever la. Quitting volleyball oredy. Tired, no time, and always away, where got time to practise. It's just not practical to do so many things at once. Gosh..saw the cat caught the lizard outside. Hmm... question: so cats do eat lizards?

OK, time to retire for the night.

Thinking like a twin

Rainy day.

Weather was unpredictable for the past few days. Hot sun early of the day and heavily rained towards the evening. Yes, I am back from a total sun tan and to say that I've got golden tan, er... still have to wait for the colour to have fully developed. Red like lobster now.

It was a fun weekend but today was abit of stress. Rushing since morning. Busy busy day. Then it rained. Watched Benjamin Button 2 days ago. The beginning was kinda interesting. I thought it was creative to think of time as being in reverse order. Though it's not kinda logic but who cares. This is fiction, so, let our imagination go wild once a while.

Aiyo... my feet are itching. Went to one of the nearby islands, and did abit of snorkeling. Then all these corals scratching the feet causing some abrasion wounds. Wa... this persistent scratching over both feet is making me feeling so high and want to scratch more..argghh..darn irritating, coz that's a false delusion!! I am literally hurting my both feet. Oh yea, this fish was biting me all the way out to the ocean! Bad fish... Anyhow, glad that everyone was enjoying it.

Sometimes I really do wonder if I was so different from others. I mean in the aspect of thinking. Quite frequent that I found people who were close, think very differently from me. I am quoting this because I am becoming so confused. I mean, being together for so many years, and I wonder how this frienship or relationship can still go on when we think so differently. Maybe tolerance is the answer. I am wondering if there was a person outthere who thinks like I do, and soooo the very like me. Maybe a twin, hehe... That'll be so cool.

Night is so calm and comfortable. Time to rest abit...

There'll be miracle, when you believe...

Sunny day

She walked in today nervous as usual. But she never failed to show her politeness and generous smile to us. This time my heart wrenched again. Breaking bad news is always not fun and not my specialty but I had to. How I wished I've seen the wrong thing. How I wished she was never called into the room at that very second.

She remained quiet and responseless. I was confused if she understood. She looked as if she had not a clue but she knew there was a problem, and a big one. I took time to talk to her. Finance is a problem. But her status as a non-national is even more problem. But deep inside, she is still very human. My feelings protested. These nice people whose lives are so deprived deserve more to live compared to those who are infact national but only knew how to reach out their hands and beg for help without working their ass off.

It was a heartache. How I wished sometimes I could do miracles. There are a few cases like this already existing and I was thinking this might run in certain genes, although I doubt it would. But I have to realize that I am just an ordinary human. Sometimes the job just touches my conscience. And the conscience sometimes challenged the ethics. Afterall complexity makes human.

So much so on the emotion. Gonna leave later tomorrow for the weekend on the beach. Yea... beaching under the hot hot sun. Wanna get so..bronzy tanned this time, hehe.

PS: Miracles do happen to these people and hope miracle will occur again this time to this poor lady.

Moonlight resonance

Sunny day.

Just finished the whole 40 episodes of 'moonlight resonance', a chinese family drama. Gosh, what a rush! The ending was kinda predictable, but still worth watching this drama, full of family values and comflicts. Noticed that Ms.Chung (Ah Chau) was incredibly outstanding in this movie. Not a fan previously but she really improved her acting skills. At one time, she had this "jennifer aniston" feel, hehe...

Weather is still so warm. This morning listened to the radio that public is advised not to consume any shell-fish like seafood. The sea was contaminated and many have been inflicted with food poisoning. In fact I got the news internally quite sometime ago but it was made public today. Aiyo...was thinking of having a shell-fish eating party this weekend. What to do, sudah bukan rezeki (ay,,,go translate yourself)

Tata

Go and make mama proud

Sunny day.
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Weather has been warm lately. Taking refuge in the office rather than going out under the scorching sun. A long time client came to the office this morning. I always mistook her with another difficult client who wouldn't listen to me. But all this while, she was always the obedient one. I literally saw her changing and following up on her progress since Day 1. And today was her final visit. She was going to walk out of the office, be a happy mother and never come back again.

That very moment, 9.30am for exact, was our moment. I was really happy for her because she was going to reap the fruit of her months of effort. It's like she was getting ready to face her finals, and be a successful person, and continue to pursue her life. She is not coming back. And I have to accept the fact. After months of meeting, finally she's leaving. I could hear from her heavy voice that it's not easy for her too. But life has to go on, and she knew that our relationship will stop here. My eyelids were so heavy and both eyes laid onto the desk coz I didn't wanna see her leave in front of me. Let it be a temporary farewell, she'll be back, alas...she won't.

She looked at me as if she was waiting for words coming out from my mouth, or at least a response telling her that she was not a forgettable client of mine. But I just kept quiet. I couldn't mix my emotion with work, no, I couldn't show how fragile I was. So much of ego. Then, she stood up and said a word: Thank you....... and that word sounded so long that it touched my sense as if the length of her gratitude to me. I could only reply with a short, welcome and glanced by the corner of my eyes while she walked out of the room. After months on this battle field, and now I am letting her go and face her last challenge. Her success is my glory. Silently, I prayed.

.

Yesterday, a client of mine brought her baby to the office. This baby? Ahhh...she's so pretty. I met her when she wasn't even born to this world yet. A total disbelief, I browsed through her birth date. It's so true, she was the lil acquantaince whom I met before she could even open her eyes! Now she's this cute lil girl who will grow up beautifully and never knew this uncle once had this lil intimacy with her. This will always belongs to us and be with her for the rest of her life.

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I am watching this chinese drama called moonlight resonance (ai...you dunno chinese?). A family drama. I am not the usual fanatic fan over chinese dramas. Initially I was hesitated to watch but after a few episodes, I just hooked on. Of course there are flaws, and I could easily identify them. But what I like about this drama is the momentum of the storyline. The message was sending across very clearly.

Tonight is very quiet as usual. Lights are dimmed and the mood slowly settles. The neighbour is moving out soon. I am going to miss another family. My staff today kinda told me that before I leave this place, she would invite me to her house. She gave me this ais kacang and a few huge MUFFINs. I am a fan of muffins! And these are really nice. Alas, that's reminding me of my stint here is actually temporary. People come people go, before you even know. (wa...it rhymes this time hehe)

It's never too late....

I am at peace now, at least for a second. Stress was slowly consuming me this afternoon. I could feel it even up to the neck. So, I was yacking and yacking, didn't know what to blame on. PMS (premenstrual syndrome)? Or simply paroxysmal hormonal imbalance (scratching heads already)?

Then I wrote an email to a friend trying to vent on my frustration. It was a long email, but as usual, I write more than I read, hehe... Slowly, the truth surfaced and finally I knew why I was so stress. It's kinda weird though. By writing how I felt, I was actually finding the right word to describe the etiology of the stress. What a therapeutic or at least a diagnostic way to approach a problem.

My friend wrote back in no time. I learnt so much from that one lonnggggg email, ehem. She was quoting some phrases from the movie Benjamin Button. I was particularly impressed by this:

.

"For what it’s worth, it’s never too late, ....to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit... start whenever you want... you can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that stop you. I hope you feel things that you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."
- BENJAMIN BUTTON

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I am in total agreement with this although some may just agree partly. This is really good for a person who procrastinate all the time. I haven't watched the movie but I am soooo very looking forward to it. It's been sometime I haven't watched a good movie!

.

Ok, time for some guessing game. Guess this:

.

The staff was kind enough to prepare us tea

Guess this

Looks like rambutan?

Long time ago, there was...

...once that Don started a small teaching career in a hut (so dramatic!) at a suburb to this small lil girl. Slowly, her other sister was joining the class and Don was only in his teens. They performed extraordinarily superb (if such words exist..) and people started going around and spreading words. I have to admit that Don'd got alot of credits for their achievements. Then people started coming to Don as if he was doing wonders to their children, in fact he was just an ordinary high school kid.

13 years down the line (ok, go do the maths) , Don bumped into her blog again, and this article was blogged in 2007! Don wouldn't have seen this but it just appeared when he did misclick on the bar. There goes his name, a mention to credit. That for once, he played a role in someone's life (er..over exaggerated).

He is proud, not because of her academic achievements, but because he'd planted a seed (metaphorically dramatization) in her, and the seeds have spreaded far away into many other hearts. Many people argue, "why change something so hard when you know it wont change".

But you will never notice that a big tree actually comes from a small seed, and a thousand steps come from one small step. I give you this seed today, and with the wind's will, then it will spread to a distance you'll never expect.

Girl, you still have a long way to go... but keep up the good job!

PS: I may sound philosophical but that doesn't make me a "datuk" hehe...

Left: the moon is so bright tonight. (pic taken at 9.20pm on 11 Feb 2009)

Let's have tea

I Am Back. I Am back. I am back. i am back..... alas...

I was actually expecting a grand return after a long-time being dormant. What to do.. Ran out of ideas, and no inspirations to write. Ok, let me just tell what's going on.

The lappie decided to protest like those in Perak demonstrating for the ousted former Menteri Besar of Perak (macamla alwiz read the newspaper). Dunno why but I have reformatted twice and voila, let's see how long it's gonna last this time. Since back home, it was either busy with work or work-related issues.

Finally the car was treated with a well-deserved bath this evening. One of the greatest achievements thus far this year. Hooray...

Three resolutions this year (as mentioned by the friends that I quoted these once upon a time before the new year) :

1) Read more (ehem,... still working on it. Health magazines counted?)

2) Regular workouts (holiday is over, so time to start again)

3) Cook and eat nice healthy foods! (did I quote correctly?)

So I was there, at one of the starbucks in town, in search of inspirations (eleh..), no la, was trying to get some web connections and chill out. Leyn ordered a cuppa rose tea but spat it out after one small sip. Thus, I learnt something that day. Not everyone thinks like I do. I like rose sour tea, blink blink...

Yes, I am...

Back! Many things happened, many events took place.

Back to work like last week. Since then, busy with work and preparing to attend the state-level course during the weekend. Lappie suddenly collapsed after several attempts of reformatting. In the end, kinda fixed, thanks to the brilliant suggestions from friends. Saving the pocket coz was thinking of changing the whole lappie.

Not going to write long this time. Maybe another time.

Life goes back to normal....