The power of one's will

The pc decided to crash yesterday. All of the documents saved in the pc are now gone, gone forever with the wind. I wonder if that has to do with the provocative remarks that I made yesterday morning on why adults shouldn't be so selfish. I received an email early in the morning, an article about one who changed his life or rather the way he looks at life after a short trip from a third world country. He was especially startled after seeing a mother who chopped off her son's hand so that the son was able to beg for money/food. He was describing the helplessness in the mother's eyes and pain in the child. So the author expressed how lucky he was, not being in that situation and he decided to buy a truck of bread to supply these destitutes just for that day. He sounded like taking pride on that as others were starting to sing praises on him for helping them. So, he was contented. Or was he contented for the fact that his life is much better than these people even though at times life was sucks for him.

Hmm...it's really tough for me to read this. I have a total different view. Especially on the mother part, I am absolutely feeling so much different from what the author felt. He might feel sympathy, but for me it's utterly pathetic. A mother chopped off his son's hands was not desperate. It's selfish. The helplessness in the mother's eyes? Or because she didn't want to dirty her previous hands by chopping off her child's hands? Maybe if she was really helpless, she might wanna chop off her hands first. Where on earth a real mother would sacrifice her children for her own sake? Er...in fact this is a beastly act. And don't be surprised coz there are many many more adults who are as selfish. By getting sympathy from others, the act was acknowledged as being accepted. Thanks to the urband legends again.

Buying a truck of bread is not the solution. Fine. Take pride on that. But that simply shows how innocent this urban author thinks. It's like an 'urban legend' phenomenon. When you see something so EXTRAORDINAIRE, that's the time you wanna change life, this and that coz finally you see some reflection in yourself. Would that last for long? Yea, probably 5 days or a year, and things will be forgotten. There is a cycle where this phenomenon will continue on and on and on. The solution is to break the cycle. Everyone plays a part. Education is important. Again and again, family planning is very important. Why get so many kids to suffer when you know that life is not easy. Some even argues, well, it's a gift from the above, who are we to decide. True enough, but if you don't have sex, you won't get pregnant until proven otherwise! Tell me the logic. So, stop getting lusty if you think you are not ready to have kids. People born with lust (another gift from the above), but they are also born with brain. So, use the brain to cut all these crap.

A was from a poor background family. She married at the age of merely 15 years old. She did not get pregnant until 6 months of marriage. I asked her, why did you decide to get married at such a tender age since you are not pregnant. What's the hurry? Your parents consented? Her answer was simple. Her parents didn't care at all. Didn't care if she was married or she was studying. She was the 6th child out of 8. Perhaps she wanted to find solace in another family in this case her in-laws, that's why she wanted to marry early. Her eyes told me that she wasn't happy with her parents because she was ignored as a child.

I sat her down and look into her eyes. Now that you are pregnant, and I hope you would learn from the past. She nodded but I have no idea if she understood.

So, the budget was announced!

Well, nothing much bout the budget. A big drawback from having credit cards, though I am not having many but certainly gonna cut down one. Been years trying to avoid the service charge for the credit card, and now it seems like not gonna happen at all. So, voila.

A big gain for broadband subscription, at least tax can be relieved but that one also involved those subscriptions in 2010, meaning, only get the benefit by 2011. Er...wat else. Small perks, better than nothing. Of course, I was hoping for more, but what to do.

What else besides those mini minute things. Guess that's all. Last week I came across this foreign thai pathologist invited for a special case here. She looks so kewl. Ok, maybe too funky for others, but who cares. Like she said, the livings always criticize. But I was always a big fan of forensic pathologists especially those who were brave and stood by their findings and opinions. You don't get so much of a glamour. But that's life!

Budget Day!

Let's see what does the Budget have in store for us!

*clenching teeth*

I choose to share..

I choose to share. What bout you?

The touching moment..

The view is so scenic outside even though the after rain effect causes the place so damp,wet and soggy. It's so relaxing. While getting ready for work today, I was browsing through some of the most amazing videos that sometimes tickle our minds and touch our hearts, so that we are reminded that it's a blessing we are here sitting cozily on our couch while browsing the net. Enjoy the weekend.

Caught in the rain

The rain is still pouring hard outside. I wonder if it would stop any sooner. The rain is indeed a relief after the warm afternoon but I was caught in the rain before I could even leave the building. After the shower, things are so soothing. Resting and enjoying the whole evening.

A genuine comment

I was pretty exhausted from the work, meetings and physical activities lately. The morning was like usual but I've learnt to close one eye on things that I could never change. Thus far, the feeling was undeniably better!

So, I was a lil bit limping walking into the office, probably because of some strained muscles. I sat on the chair and started to sort things out. Later, a client came in with her lil girl. Mind you, she(the lil girl) was so talkative and energetic. Unlike other kids, she need not to be entertained coz she would help herself, ahaha. Then, the mum moved from her seat. Quickly, this bubbly girl climbed up the chair next to mine. I was so tired and non-chalantly answering to her bubbly questions occasionally. But I skipped some because I was paying attention to the report that I was writing.

The next moment, I started to take a loongggg...yawn. Before even I finished yawning, she was looking at me from the side and said, "ohhh......someone is so tired. He needs to sleep abit". I was startled almost choked at the same time amused. That was funny yet lovely. A kid telling me that I was tired. Hmm...I have underestimated her. She's probably right. Sometimes, we are so tied up with our jobs until we have disregarded our body, and look, at times kids know better than the adults!

Thus I chose to skip the swimming part today simply because I need a break and there was a small ulcer under the skin. Looking forward to the coming weekend. Yawnn.....

Durian durian....

It's durians day. Lunch durians, dinner durians. Everywhere you find durians. People keep serving you durians. That's a nice gesture though. I was eating them but hardly have the time to taste them properly.

There was a meeting today after rushing back from a travelling job in the morning. I was really tired while chairing this meeting. In between, I had other stuff to attend to. See, how busy I could be. Nevermind, speaking of work frustration, it's gonna take a long long time. It went well despite some cat fights in between. I was being neutral all the time coz I don't see much of a necessary to argue on any issues. Issues were raised and should be solved amicably. At least that was what I thought. It's like determining whether the egg comes first or the hen, you know what I mean? So, I had to be the grown up here but I am risking being seen as insensitive.

I am just too tired to care about what people think of me. Really tired. I plan to stay more in the office, concentrating on the routine work that I am supposed be doing. Too much straying away for outside work-related job is squeezing every drop of me. I can't change the world in a year, so I need to take a seat backward.

Ok, nite is late oredy. Need to sleep now. Wonder what's gonna happen tomorrow. Nite nite.

Need a masseur, anyone?

So yearning for a total body massage now.... Imagine soaked in the aromatic coconut essence oil while getting a good massage. Gee, you'd never know if you never tried. I always put on some coconut based sun lotion after a swim, and that makes the skin feeling so relaxed. Besides, I could still remember the previous time I had a body massage and I literally dozed off during the process. That's how relaxed massaging can be.

Well, just got back from a whole day-long talk. Nope, I was giving the talk besides my fellow colleagues. It was a different crowd and mind you, a huge one too. But I am satisfied with my part. It was fun, but I had to decline tomorrow's session as I am kinda occupied with my work in the office. On top of that, the result of travelling to the talk today gives me a strong motion sickness that I am still trying to recuperate now. Took some pills. That's why I said, massaging is soooo nice if I ever had one now la.

In my daughter's eyes

When her small lil fingers reached out and grabbed my index finger, I sensed a strong connection between us. Then she looked at me with a big smile. My heart went melted. She definitely knew her way on me. She was such a lil angel who came off and on to remind me that work was not all about stress but about passion. Even though she had a hole in the heart, she was generous enough to heal my heart that very moment. She was the reason why I wanted to climb higher so that I could go on protect others like her when everyone was telling me that the world won't change no matter how hard I try.

Many times parents keep telling their children how lucky they were to have parents comparing those of the orphans. Children were reminded to be grateful and be filial to their parents, no matter how bad their parents had treated them, no matter if they were abandoned at young age, they are still the parents. Children should always listen and live up to their parents' expectation because parents know all, and there's no happiness other than parents' happiness.

But how many of us who had become parents asked ourselves, if we were really lucky to have our children to be with us today. There are thousands if not millions in this world who had been trying to have kids but to no avail. Who had fought so hard to sustain the child in the womb but ended up another dead child for the third time. How many of us go to bed every night and thank God for these precious gifts of all?

To the selfless mums and dads in the world, allow me to present this song to you:

IN MY DAUGHTER'S EYES

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

Weather report

Weather report: Clouds covering most part of the places throughout the day with the occasional strong, yes extremely strong wind in the very early morning as well as in the evening.

A friend sent an sms telling me that his roof top was blown away. That I was not surprised as the staff's house was affected last week as well. It's been cooling and the aircond in the office increased its intensity. I am not sure if I preferred this weather than warmer, but I surely wouldn't like it if it's gonna affect me going to the pool. It's been a tense period at work. Need more time for recreation.

That's all from the weatherman today...

When the night has come..

The weather is kinda funny today. It was warm for the past few days until this evening when the rain poured the hardest as if 3 days of accumulated volume of liquid in the sky had finally broke its bag. And there you go.... everywhere is wet now and it's still pouring. Nevertheless, it's a cosy nite to fall asleep. Gotta wake up as early as 4 something in the morning for a long journey tomorrow. Until then, sleep tight...

Sleeping child

It's time to break the silence, yet again. Perhaps it's afterall not a quiet day. In the very morning, it's been a chaotic day. Probably the staff started to think if their boss was having a mood swing. But incompetency had actually driven me up to the wall. Don't ask why but it's so aggitating, even the smallest matter matters! Hello....why is the toilet sooo stinky? Aren't people smelling here?..

Before moving out for lunch to break the agitated mood, this boy caught my attention. His mother was carrying him outside the waiting hall under such a heated weather. It was afterall mid day. He was obviously exhausted and not well. He had been accompanying his mother the whole night in the hospital as there was no one at home to take care of him. He was 6. His other elder siblings were at home taken care by the eldest sister who had to skip school just to help out at home while the mother was away. Father was working elsewhere.

Then, gently I offered them to come into my office. The aircond certainly was very soothing at that hour of time. I offered my couch so that the boy could rest a lil bit while I made a conversation with the mother. At times I would catch a glimpse of the child and a minute later he was dozing off already. He slept so comfortably like it's been years he had not been sleeping. Not even a cry being away from the mother. The time had come where I had to go for an appointment, so I offered them to be put at another office with air cond as I needed to lock my own office but I didn't know how. Then the boy opened his eyes, and grabbing the pillow, pushing his head towards it. He laid like an innocent kitten. He looked at me. My heart broke. He certainly enjoyed so much sleeping on my couch rather than sleeping in his wooden warm house. How cruel if I would to interrupt his once luxurious sleep?

My lil heart was whispering to him. I know it's not your fault. I know it's not your wish to come into this impoverished world of yours. I know you don't have a choice. I know there are many people who are taking things for granted even this lil couch of mine, probably they would have thought twice before laying the bottoms on top. I know how you feel. But I also know you won't be asking why, because you are so innocent. If only I could give you the priviledge of other kids having, if only I could let you sleep here for the night, if only I could enlighten your parents that you are special, and all they need is a special kid and not a dozen(kids) who labour at their(parents) own expense.

But I can't coz I am just an ordinary human being who has all the shortcomings like you. I can't change a thing coz the world is like an ecology, as nature helms to take its course. I could only watch from the corner and pray, pray so that innocent people like you would one day understand the meaning of life, and never repeat the mistakes of your parents once did.