On such an auspicious day, I think it is just right if I were to express gratitude to one particular part of my body, which is my pair of hands. Yup, the pair of hands in the pic above belongs to mine, taken about 2 years ago. This print finally was chosen as the sample for a group project then, probably I could bend those fingers better, ahaha..
So, yes, I always find it so personal when it comes to the hands. Those people who worked with me before know the size of my hands and they always make sure I have the correct size of gloves. Indeed very detail and thoughtful of them. The hands are used for many physical activities and they are the most vulnerable part as well.
Persistent exposure to chemicals such as the soup and even frequent washings can damage the texture of the skin. Thus I have to use extra aqueous cream to moisten them, for medical purpose okay,..coz it really hurts when the skin is peeling off and dry.
What is so great about the size then? Recently I have been doing quite alot of procedures. And the difficult part were made easier when I could maintain a good grasp with these hands. While some people were complaining how difficult to have a firm grasp, I find mine to be very accommodating. So, who says size does not matter...
There is definitely some mixed feelings today. There was just so much tears going on. Tears of joy and sadness. No, not me, but the circumstances left me pondering.
After much of a waiting, finally there's hope for JL. She's again pregnant after a 5-year interval. The moment she was waiting had arrived. On top of that, it was a double happiness. She's got a twin! Tears were seen running from the side of her eyes when the news broke. The husband too joined the joy and couldn't believe his eyes when he was asked what did he see on the screen.
Husband: Err...that's the baby? Quickly the wife quipped: Yes, that's one and....?
The husband was confused awhile before feeling so amazed of seeing another baby on the screen. There are just too many twins lately that it almost hitting the record for the century, no, it wasn't a joke.
While there was joy for this couple, the story changed for JC. Three months ago when she was diagnosed as having twin, she had the same feeling. The joy and pride of being a mother. But three months later, she had to bear the news that one of the twin might not survive. The fetus is failing to thrive in the womb. She feels helpless. A day of living, is another day of anxiety. Basically, she was told that her baby's heart might stop pumping any moment. Up to date, he's still alive.
Who says womb is the safest place, when this mother herself is feeling so helpless, not being able to save her own child in her own body. The second fetus might succumb to the same problem of his unborn sibling. So, her tears, reflect the hardship of life, and if this pregnancy was the only offer of consolation for her, it in fact bears a false hope afterall. Who says life is not mean?
I have the same sympathy for her as for all the unfortunate mothers and unborn children. It's indeed a long battle that only the strong will survive. However hard the feelings they went through, it is not our right to put more pressure onto their shoulders.
MC finally broke down during a one-to-one session talk. After some ice-breaking and searching for her trust, she finally opened up. Being in a relationship which was not consented by both the parents seems to be real distressing. What more if the boyfriend already has a wife. Though she is agreeable to the notion of being the second wife, the parents remained sceptical. Afterall, the boyfriend had not broken the news to the first wife, so probably she would end up being a mistress of unknown identity.
Bearing a child at this stage proves to be challenging. She neither this nor that. Her future remains vague. She's gonna put in too much trust on this guy who promised to wed her soon, but how soon would that be? But who are to judge her decision. Everyone has the right to make their own decision. Afterall, she is expected to deliver her baby next month, which time will tell everything.
Making a decision is always difficult. Especially when it has got something to do with ethics. TA has a steady boyfriend but they don't always meet. It's a long distance relationship. But one mistake, and she's pregnant now. A very early pregnancy, which she is still thinking of ways to remove it. That would be very mean and irresponsible, ey? Again, who are we to judge. If the unwanted pregnancy were to continue, would it be fair for the baby in future? Nobody can tell.
She is a tough lady who won't break down easily but her on and off teary eyes were caught off guarded. She's afterall a lady with a heart like others. Who would want to take a way of living in herself? It's a tough decision but she had to bear it alone. The guys always get to escape on this part, bluek.... (no la, don't mean that way, some guys do care too). But the rational behind her decision was so clear.
It was a tough day indeed with lots of emotional roller-coaster feeling. It's just so easy to be a listener but to tell them what to do, it is so not easy. I learn today that being a listener is not always about solving the problems. By listening, you share the pain of others, thus reducing the stress of others even though the problems are not solved. That's why we are given two ears and only one mouth. More listening, less talking.
PS: I was reading on the story covering life in somalia. One part of somalia where it was called a lawless land. Looking at the famine looking children and sadness in their mothers' faces, I am still in doubt. I know it would sound a lil shallow or disrespect, but it always hit the mind. Why in such a horrendous living environment, still there are people who give births to so many kids who ended up risking death due to poor nutrition. Isn't life clear enough to show that any being on this land is subjected to cruelty of nature and human themselves? Why the kids?
The morning was quiet. She was standing in the corner, weeping in silence. It was expected. The baby was fighting for her life in the incubator. Being born prematurely, with a body weight of 600g, her prognosis wasn't that promising. Her life was sustained for the past 7 days, and perhaps, she was too tired anymore to fight a losing battle. Miracle does happen but not in her case. She was so tiny and fragile and the only support she had was an IV drip to her leg.
When she stopped breathing, the health worker would start to bag her. But this proved to be too much to accept. The mother's heart skipped a beat everytime she stopped breathing, never knew when was her last breath. The anticipation was torturing. But that very morning, the time had come. After bagging for more than 2 hours, she finally gave up.
Another girl on the same day seemed familiar. She was born with an defect, or rather an anomaly to her head. She was a 'special' kid. For the past 8 years she had to deal with how people looked at her and led a life to be taken care by her mother all the time, not even able to pee herself.
This time around, she went unconscious after a week of poor feeding and vomiting. But it was too late. Or wasn't it? She was pronounced brain dead but other vitals still functioning when the resuscitative measures took place. Her survival merely supported by the resuscitating team. Her mother started to cry, she had no heart to listen further. The dad was in a cooler composure, probably he had expected that. After a short thought, they decided to end the the effort and let her go.
There was a small commotion as relatives were flocking in and blaming the parents for the late referral. How would the story change if she were to survive? Are they the one going to take care of her as her disease seemed to be a life long defect. Who are they to judge the parents when they had taken care of her nicely for the past 8years without any complaints.
Death is inevitable. The premature departures of the above mentioned cases don't necessary mean a big suffering for both the girls. That being too optimistic. But the stronger survive. Like mentioned in Darwin's 'evolution' theory.
The custom has allowed us to grief on death. The culture has made death seems like a 'shouldn't' thing. But who are we to decide if someone deserved to die or not? The perception of death has clearly changed the way life is seen. There was an interesting article seen around the net. Someone quoted, there is no death. Cause it doesn't exist. A dead people simply means a being not lived. Thus the opposite meaning of alive is not death, but simply no live.
The somber day didn't last long. Afterall, life has to go on. A life is gone, another life is born. Nothing holds forever, and what's left is the memory within.
Absolutely, there is no point to write today. Instead of keeping the blog silent, just a lil shout out here. The badminton session for today is finally postponed till further notice. Yeay... Some of you might think, why yeay?!
Well, when everyone was so eager for the badminton session today, I was simply exhausted. I guess I have not recuperated from the hectic previous month. When I had almost made an agreement with myself that there shouldn't be any talks or functions for the time being, the boss came to the office yesterday and delightedly informed me that he was gonna send me to attend the committee meeting of the m. red crescent society at the state-level.
Wa...we are gonna be the host this year! And you will be representing our dept in the committee. Those are the words slapped on both ears. "But boss, I am going for a holiday. Can't you look for the other colleagues to go instead?" Arghhh...of course it was an inside argghhh... I was glad that on top of the flattering words he uttered to convince me going, there was a certain expectation from him coz he re-emphasized that I was gonna represent his, opss, our office by the way.
Well, geographically, that event is gonna held at the venue away from my area of coverage. But indeed, I don't really mind coz I enjoyed the exposure. But, but I am just a lil exhausted. I want to settle abit this month and next month. I cannot imagine myself working like this anymore. Well, we will see what's gonna happen next.
And now, I have more time for myself coz the badminton court is under renovation, so I have the excuse of not going. Ahahaha...its more of self-deceiving. I enjoy the game but at times like this, I'd prefer to rest at home,yes... just like tat.
I was so occupied with the week that I have no idea where to begin with. By the time I was about to write something, the fingers were feeling so tired to write. Ahahaha... that's how I am gonna start the blog with.
Well, the hectic month finally is over. I had 3 main functions to attend to and I've forgot what I had before that. Let us just concentrate on the final event that just concluded last friday.
I was conducting an eNaRPee course as an invited speaker as well as the examiner. I had the license to conduct 2 years ago and the experience of being a trainee and a facilitator has certainly opened my eyes. The mission of the course is so noble, I couldn't wait to convey the course as it was meant to be. Alas, trainees being trainees, most were concentrating to pass the course instead in view that the passing mark is very high, lotsa candidates had to resit for the tests.
I was catching breaths, in between all the events that I was involved in. I barely had 1 night to get ready before the course took place as before hand I was tied up with another event where I was hosting a community event in this area. So yes, I was really catching breaths in between!
The highs and lows of these programs certainly stretched my time to the limit. But the interaction among the people which attracted me the most. I got to mingle with so many people, share our experiences and exchanging thoughts.
At one moment during the eNaRPee course, I had to touch on the ethical portion of the profession. While presenting 8 lectures mainly dealing with the course and system, I was so eager and enthusiastic to deliver the final presentation which touches on ethics in the profession. This soft side of the issue, even though very slight, but it covers most of the details that we need to learn from inside out. We cannot just learn from it, we have to feel from within.
The biggest satisfaction that I've got was when I saw teary eyes from the participants who listened intently to how I described the whole scenario of being true to oneself and others. I won't describe how it went but certainly I had gauged the attention of these people and brought them into the humane world of ours which is almost non-existent nowadays unless we listened to our innerselves. Ok, crap... but it's true, they had tears in their eyes. But I cracked some jokes in between to loosen up everyone.
Besides, I've got 2 verbal compliments and a written one for the talk. Boy, I am so tired but really worth it. So, I am getting myself more relaxed and taking a back seat for the coming weeks. Until then, have a nice evening!
