The visit..

I was just a visitor like others when this lady was wheeled into the room. She had her left arm and leg amputated. Her complexion was dusky and she was abit plump. Her anxious place was excusable when the nurse wanted to poke her right arm for venous access. She retaliated.

Suddenly she went histerical. She refused and tried every point to argue on that. In fact she has a catheter in her chest. She was afraid to be poke again and again coz she knew it would be a futile attempt as her veins were mostly collapsed.

She started to cry. Her daughter was with her. Both spoke very decent English language though their mother tongue is bahasa. She was like a kids, whinning and crying. I found a spot to express my concern and wanted to go over to comfort her. Alas, that didn't really happen.

Her daughter was putting up a tough look. I was expecting that she would break down in front of her mum while persuading her to undergo the procedure. But she didn't.

She sang a song to her mum, as if comforting a crying baby. She told how she cared for her and how much the mum needed to do this. She tried her best to keep the mum calm. The hands slowly swept on the mum's forehead as reassurance. Everyone was looking at them.

Then, the mum was called in for the scan. The daughter waited outside. Slowly the tears trickled down. She broke down. She was making some calls while crying. I could now relate what she felt. There was a sudden rush of feelings for me to go over and comfort her, or to at least held her trembling hands. But before I could, a lady friend came over and comforted her.

Sometimes the appearance cannot be compared to the feeling itself. We need to be strong for people yet we are so weak inside. Life is all about others. At times, we forget about ourselves and who we are. We forget that we are obligated to our own well being. All we care is that, when people around us are happy, we are happy. When they are not, we are not.

Life can be unfair. And that's the truth. Mother theresa voluntarily devoted her life to save hundreds if not thousands yet she still void inside. It's an odd feeling but this is the feeling that keeps us going.